


Swiper Backstory

by emeebee



Category: Dora the Explorer (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 03:53:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6640345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeebee/pseuds/emeebee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story based on how the harsh realities of children’s educational cartoons gave my mother an existential crisis. Basically an origin story for the most devious thief around - Swiper the Fox. Not the story we got. But the story we deserved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swiper Backstory

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pbfik](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pbfik/gifts).



Once upon a time there lived a kind and respectable young fox named Bernard. He lived with his grandmother in a modest house on Blueberry Hill. He and Grandmother Fox led peaceful lives growing and selling the abundant (and ironic) asparagus that thrived in the partial sun and sandy soil Blueberry Hill was famous for. Grandmother Fox read Bernard stories when the gardening was done and Bernard didn't want for anything.

Until that terrible day.

Bernard was finally old enough to be tending the asparagus by himself when he spotted young child enjoying the shade provided by an absurdly large stalk of asparagus. Admittedly it could have been a large broccoli. Or even a tree. But Bernard's world was such that he found asparagus in everything he saw.

Anyway.

While Bernard admired the joy the child found in the shade a fox snuck up behind him. The child didn't notice. And before his very eyes, before Bernard even registered what was happening, the fox swiped the little train the child had been playing with! For his entire life on Blueberry Hill Bernard had never seen such a devious and malicious act. He had never imagined an act so depraved! 

Bernard had never known that this could be done. After all he had no siblings to steal from and no real friends with belongings for him to covet. Grandmother Fox had always given him everything he had ever wanted or given him a firm reason for him to not own those things. 

But that objects could be obtained through another source…

Bernard felt something stir within him. A new freedom that he had never known called his name. And so Bernard laid down his tools and followed the devious fox to learn his ways. Bernard studied him. Watched him steal other things - pies from windowsills, candy from babies, those little travel size shampoos and soaps from hotels. It seemed that the devious fox would steal anything (so long as it was cliché).

Bernard left Blueberry Hill and Grandmother Fox behind and slowly but steadily amassed a collection of found objects as he started to call them. He collected them. He reasoned that their owners had looked away, forgotten about them. Out of sight, out of mind after all. So he took them in, gave them a home, gave them a community of other found objects. 

On a warm summer day Bernard slinked through a field as foxes are wont to do when he spotted a lovely pair of deep purple shoes - all pointed toes and satin laces. Bernard couldn't believe that someone had just forgotten about them! They deserved to be found. They deserved to have a home. And so he picked them up, prepared to take them home and add them to his little community. 

BUT JUST THEN a witch came out of the cottage the shoes were next to! 

"Young fox," she rasped sweetly. "Your intentions are good but your intelligence is lacking."

Bernard stood aghast. No one had ever reacted to his collecting like this before!

"To help you understand I impart this charm upon you:  
_Return you must the item taken_  
_If caught in act and not mistaken_  
_An onlooker catches thine eye_  
_And holds their hands up to the sky_  
_And thrice recites 'swiper no swiping'_  
_You must comply without griping."_

Bernard stared at her.

She threw her hands up. "It means that you must return the item you have taken should someone see you in the act and says 'swiper no swiping' three times!" 

Still kind of unsure what the old lady was talking about, Bernard put the shoes back down (he was pretty sure that he was supposed to at this point though he didn’t really know for sure) and walked away. 

The witch then sent a mass text to everyone else in produce county - including a shrewd little explorer and her impulsive monkey sidekick.

Bernard continued on with his life, adopting a glass marble here, a stubby crayon there. Until a child saw him attempting to rescue a toy dump truck in a sandbox. 

"Swiper no swiping," the child babbled. 

Impulsively, Bernard dropped the toy, snapped his fingers, and said "oh man," and walked away. He didn't realize what had happened until he walked into his den. He looked out over his collection, seemingly hopeful, but he had no new item to add to it, no new friend to give. He turned his back on his collection, ashamed, curled up on his rug and slept. 

It happened again the next day. Bernard had seen a beautiful stone glinting from in a fountain but was halted again by the sound of 'swiper no swiping.' Like before, he dropped the stone back in the water with a splash, snapped his fingers, said "oh man" and walked away, unaware until he had dripped his way away from the fountain and again unsure of what had come to pass. 

Five days passed with no new found item for his collection community and Bernard was starting to get anxious. He didn't feel at home in his den anymore. The found objects seemed to glare at him, angry. 

Desperate, Bernard left the den determined to return with a new found object or not return at all. He happened upon a house with several children playing outside - a sure sign of lost objects waiting to be found. He waited until a voice from inside called "would you kids like to come in for some snacks?"

Bernard realized this was his chance. It was now or never, do or die. Well. Not really die because this is a kids cartoon. But you understand. 

Bernard snuck into the yard looking for forgotten objects, hoping to quickly find the most lost and forgotten of all. And there it was! Half buried in the dirt and shaded by grass lay a corded rotary phone smiling up at him. He reached for it, the thrill of the find coursing through him when! - 

"Swiper no swiping," came the cry from the shrewd little explorer standing on the porch. She also snapped a picture of him on her phone and group texted it to all of Produce County with the caption of "Swiper the fox - at it again!" She fancied herself a bit of a photojournalist. 

He didn't return to his den.

After that fateful encounter with the shrewd explorer girl, Bernard couldn't catch a break. When people saw him, they muttered 'swiper no swiping' under their breath as if to ward off harm. He tried wearing a mask and special gloves but it didn't help. Nothing helped. 

Bernard lost himself. He became more and more desperate. He had left Grandmother Fox and blueberry hill, he had let down his found objects, and now all of Produce County knew him as Swiper the Fox - a name he couldn't easily escape. 

So incapable was he of finding lost objects and thus himself that he began to think of himself as Swiper the fox. He lost all sense of Bernard. And with losing Bernard, he lost the desire to find objects. Instead, it became an all-consuming desire to swipe them in hopes of connecting with his true self again. But thwarted, the cycle started over and over and became a vicious spiral.

And Bernard became Swiper.

Unable to return home, the attempted swiping became more frequent. After all, he had nothing else to do, he existed to do nothing else. It was right there in his name. Swiper the fox. It would be like telling the little shrewd explorer to not explore. It would be to deny their true essence. 

He was trapped. With each failed attempt to swipe, he only grew more determined to swipe. But to no avail. The shrewd little explorer became more vicious with her photo-journalistic attempts. "This fox tried to take a balloon," she'd group text all of Produce County. "You won't believe what happens next!" "Use this one weird easy trick to get rid of Swiper!" "Fox tried to steal a statue but what happens next will amaze you!"

These group texts really did make it to all of the inhabitants of Produce Valley and finally reached the witch who had cursed Bernard. She realized that although her intentions had been good, she had gone about solving her problem in the wrong way. Rather than teach Bernard about sharing and asking before taking she had tried to use magic to make Bernard behave the way she wanted him to. And so she apparated to the village square where the shrewd explorer had just caught him attempting to collect an old stuffed toad.

"CITIZENS," she bellowed. "From this fox I lift my curse. I tried to improve his behavior through strength and force rather than teaching him." She turned to Bernard. "Your intentions are good - you want to give a home to lost things. But your methods of achieving this are bad. You should ask before you take. Similarly, I had good intentions - to make you a better person - but I went about it the wrong way."

The shrewd little explorer looked on, aghast. Here was the witch ruining her future journalistic career!

"You," the witch sneered, pointing at Dora. "You need to learn the consequences of social media and how quickly it can ruin someone's life."

Everyone of course took pictures and the video "Old Lady puts Little Girl in her place" later went viral.

"And you, monkey sidekick. Get new shoes. And the rest of you," the witch said, addressing the citizens of Produce County. "You need to not hold onto your belongings so tightly. They are material and temporary. You would rather hold on to unused objects than give them to a fox just looking to give them a home."

Everyone nodded solemnly. 

And so it was. Dora's reputation was tarnished, the townsfolk became more giving and caring, and Bernard returned to his found objects, reunited with Grandmother Fox, got a job as a Recycling Man - a job where he could give many lost objects new hope - and he also learned to ask first.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by my mother who approached me distraught one day because of Swiper the fox. The only way I could console her was by telling her that Swiper's real name was Bernard and Swiper was only his street name. While this consoled her, the idea for this fic was born and far too tempting to resist for long.  
> In researching this fic I discovered the Dora the Explorer Wikia. Which is GOLD. Many thanks to those hardworking individuals who have provided me with almost more information about Dora the Explorer than I cared to have. And thanks to those curious enough about Dora's country of origin to cross reference native habitats of the various wildlife with cultural references made in the show. Your dedication astounds me.


End file.
